There and Back Again, and Again
by Warrior-Prinzess
Summary: STORY MOVED! Read 1st chapter for details.
1. READ ME

* SUMMARY * Me hopping into the buffyverse, mess around with everybody, and bring Spike back with me. A working progress.   
  
  
* DISCLAIMER * Don't own anything. BtVS belongs to Joss and his folks, not me.   
  
  
* THE STORY'S MOVED! * Hiyas, this story has be moved over to my other ff.net account: Zenaphobia. New story id is 1307843   
Since ff.net strips off all html link tags and site links, you'll have to find the new story yourself. There's a link on my profile to my new account's profile if that helps..   
  
  
* UPDATE * A new chapter 5 has been uploaded on Apr 17. 


	2. 1

*Disclaimer* Don't own anything. So don't sue! BtVS belongs to Joss the Almighty and his pals. Matchbox Twenty belongs to Matchbox Twenty. Their song belongs to them. I'm just taking a stroll in their little world. No harm intended. 

  


  
---------- LOST AND ALONE ---------- 

  
"So what do you think about the concert? It's really worth the trip, isn't it?"   
  
"WHAT?" My ears were still buzzing after withstanding 130 decibels for two hours.   
  
"COOL CONCERT RIGHT?" My friend shouted out her question once again.   
  
"Yeah. It's worth the trip all the way from Toronto. So where exactly in California are we?" American geography had always been a mystery to me. I doubted if my friend's answer would have any significance at all. But just to create conversation, I asked it anyways.   
  
"Not close to Disneyland, for all I know." I was shocked by my friend's respond. She was supposingly the map geek in the group.   
  
"Hey, we might be close to Sunnydale. It IS in California." The Buffy-holic in our group suggested.   
  
"How drunk are you? We all know Sunnydale doesn't exist. The closest thing it gets to is Sunnyvale!" Apparently, my map-geek best friend didn't quite like that idea.   
  
"Not drunk enough! I'm thinking about crashing another pub, what do you say?"   
  
"I'm up for it. Hey, what about you?" My friends directed the offer towards me.   
  
"You know I don't drink, so what's the point? I'll go back to the hotel. You guys have fun." With that, me and my two friends parted ways.   
  
I headed towards where I thought the hotel was for about 20 minutes, before I finally realized that I didn't know where I was any longer. I couldn't see anything I recall seeing on my way to the concert. For one thing, we never walked passed any cemeteries across the street. And like that wasn't freaky enough, there were three people, well more like the shadows of three people, in the cemetery, moving fast and looked like they were in a big fight.   
  
"Oh no..." An alarm went off in my head when I remembered the news from this morning about some gang fighting their heads off for some ridiculous reasons only gangsters could come up with.   
  
I was just about to start bolting away from the scene, when my spying little eyes caught the strangest thing happening. Two of the fighting shadows went suddenly to a sharp halt, then POOF! One of the shadow disappeared!   
  
"HOLY SMOKES! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS???" 


	3. 2

*Beginning Note* Oh seems like I never mentioned this..the story's set right after "Lies My Parents Told Me", and may contain spoilers for the rest of the series. I'll update my summary shortly.   
  
*Disclaimer* Don't own anything. So don't sue! BtVS belongs to Joss the Almighty and his pals. Matchbox Twenty belongs to Matchbox Twenty. Their song belongs to them. I'm just taking a stroll in their little world. No harm intended.  
  
  
---------- ALTERNATE UNIVERSE? HOW LAME IS THAT? ----------   
  
  
Apparently, my "hi I'm right here so come and kill me" exclamation was heard by the remaining two figures. One of them started running over this way and the other followed shortly. This was when my wonderful fight or flight instinct kicked in, and of course I chose the latter. I held on to my dear life and darted down the street. But I wasn't quick enough. Next thing I knew, I was tackled from behind and fell hard to the ground. Something must have hit my head coz it began to spin in the surfacing pain. Before I completely passed out, I heard a voice muttered, "Bloody hell..."   
  
I woke up in a fluffy bed to a nice aroma of funnel cake but a terrible headache. If it weren't for the headache, or the muffled noises coming from somewhere, I would have thought I was dead and went to heaven. I knocked myself on the head for the lameness of the thought, then regretted it as the headache intensified as a warning to my abuse. I slowly got out of the bed and took a look around, trying to get my sense of bearing back. I was in a room, a pretty nice room despite the scattering sleeping bags and personal items on the floor. There was a door to my right and a closet to my left. Okay. No biggie. So I decided to take it a step further and went out of the room. What I saw there no doubt hurt my head even more. Coz for the next 90 seconds or so, I was in completely shock, confusion, and last but not least, excitement.   
  
I saw in front of me a whole bunch of girls in the kitchen fighting for a good spot at the dinner table and over boxes of cereal. Then I saw a guy by the stove in an apron and mitts, struggling with his highly misshaped what-so-looks-like-funnel cakes. A guy stood by a broken window taking measurements, and another standing in the corner smoking away. At the far side was a girl in deep conversation with a middle-aged looking man. The shocking part was, I recognized all of them!   
  
"We thought she was a loose vamp or something. You know. It was dark and all." The girl said to the man.   
  
"But that doesn't mean you can let Spike tackle her from behind, Buffy. Shouldn't you clear up on what she was first?"   
  
"But Giles!" Buffy paused when she saw me standing by the kitchen door.   
  
"Hey. You're up. How's...um...your head feeling?" Buffy asked me concernedly. "I'm sorry we tackled you last night. We thought you were a...um..."   
  
"A vampire? It's okay. I understand." I finished the sentence for her, then babbled to myself, "well at least that part alright. Now that poofing shadow makes sense. What I don't understand is, how's this possible? They aren't even real."   
  
I looked up and saw Buffy's concerned face when she asked, "Possible what? Who are you anyway? You shouldn't be walking by a cemetery alone that late at night, you know. You could get into accidents. And how do you know about vampires?"   
  
"Um...see, well, I don't really know how to put it. I...um...sort of come from somewhere else."   
  
"Well, your accent totally spells C-A-N-A-D-A, if that's what you mean." Spike, the one with the good ear and a hundred some odd years of travelling experience, suggested.   
  
"No, I mean yes, I mean, I'm from Canada. Yes, Toronto, in fact. But no, that's not what I mean when I say I'm not from here. See, I'm sorta from this, what you call it, alternate universe, I guess."   
  
"Bloody hell!" The bleached blond vampire cried in annoyance. "Another one? Lemme guess pet, we're TV show characters. Buffy, or more precisely her counterpart, is married to Freddie Prince Jr. Giles did a bunch of coffee commercials, and I'm not really British. How am I doing so far?"   
  
You should've seen me. My eyes practically fell out of my sockets and my jaw dropped to the floor. How would they possibly know? "How do you...wait. You said ANOTHER. There was someone else like me?"   
  
It was Dawn who chimed in, "yeah, two girls showed up last year with a bunch of DVDs. Told us some pretty interesting stuff. And their Sexiest Men On Earth collection was just hot." She then threw a glance at Spike and giggled.   
  
"Sod off, niblet." Spike protested before returning his attention to me. "They apparently got sucked in through their TV. What's your deal?"   
  
"I was heading back to my hotel from a concert."   
  
"Don't tell me. Ghost of the Robot?"   
  
"Nah, luv you Spike, but not that obsessed yet." I couldn't resist shooting him down. I wanted to do it for so long, and now seemed like my dreams just came true. "Matchbox Twenty."   
  
"Bullocks. Xander sings better than those wankers." Oh it's so fun to see Spike getting jealous at my comment.   
  
"Why thank you. I really sing that well? Maybe I should go audition or something. Have my own album." As usual, Xander couldn't catch on to the sarcasm behind the comment.   
  
"I was being ironic, brainhead." Spike strictly corrected.   
  
"Oh shut up, Spike." The slayer intervened before the brewing insult competition could begin. "We have a situation here. She has to go back somehow. It's not safe for her to be here, especially not now."   
  
"Why not?" I questioned. I liked it here among the characters of my favorite show. To be sent back right away would be the last thing I wanted. "Because you're on your way to fighting the First Evil?"   
  
"Don't tell me, you're from our future too?"   
  
"Well, that depends. What is the very last big thing that happened around here before my arrival?"   
  
"That'll be Spike, right?" Xander suggested. "Unless you count the EXCITING patrol and vamp-dusting last night to be a bigger thing."   
  
"Got that bloody trigger out two nights ago." Seeing that I didn't seem to figure out anything from Xander's clue, the vampire elaborated voluntarily. Then turning to face Xander he added, "thanks for shoving me under the spotlight."   
  
"You're very welcome, and by the way, you kinda missed out the beating the crap out of the principal part." Xander added.   
  
"He was trying to kill me back there. Have you seen that shack of his?"   
  
"That's enough." The impatient slayer stepped in once again. "So? Future or no future?"   
  
"I'm guessing the same timeline as yours. I watched that ep last night. It aired two nights ago, but it took me forever to get it off the net."   
  
"Huh?" Okay, great. I managed to confuse everybody. In order to explain I began telling them my miserable BtVS drought.   
  
"Oh, it's just that I'm boarding in someone's house. My landlady kinda puts up all sorts of parental control restrictions over the only TV that gets UPN. So I never get to see the show until I download the eps onto my computer."   
  
"Computers." Giles sighed at my mentioning of the Internet. "See, I told you Buffy. People nowadays have absolutely no regards on the value of books and physical research. Another living example standing right here." He nodded at me for emphasis. "I assume that acquisition you're performing is entirely legal."   
  
"Oh entirely, of course!" On top of that I gave Giles an evil grin.   
  
"Right. Wasn't there, didn't see it, couldn't have stopped you."   
  
"Good idea. Plus if no one watches the show in my universe, then your world will probably cease to exist long before 2 months from now." Oops, I think I just let something future-ish slip from my mouth. "Okay, forget what I just said."  
  
  
  
*END NOTE 1 - the two girls from a year back is from a really cool fic I'm reading..called "What on earth?" by Andie17. Thanks girl. Your fic rocks.*   
  
*END NOTE 2 - Okay. I just reread the story. I find it sounds really stupid. I dunno if I wanna keep writing it anymore. Oh well, review and let me know.* 


	4. 3, More Chapters on account Zenaphobia

*Note 1* No I'm not exactly a Matchbox Twenty fan. Just came across the song and think it sort of tells the story of Spike's psychology, and thus the original song-fic idea. But the muse is changing, and I don't know how this is gonna end up. Really...   
  
*Note 2* I know this kind of stories has been done a zillion times and it's starting to sound lame, but I just realize how fun it is to write one myself so that I can twist and torment the characters any way I want. Ha, just love playing god!   
  
*Disclaimer* Don't own anything. So don't sue! BtVS belongs to Joss the Almighty and his pals. Matchbox Twenty belongs to Matchbox Twenty. Their song belongs to them. I'm just taking a stroll in their little world. No harm intended.   
  
  
  
---------- PREVIOUSLY IN MY LITTLE FANTASY WORLD ----------   
  
"I came from an alternate universe." I said.   
  
"Bloody hell. Another one?" Spike cried out in annoyance.   
  
"Plus if no one watches the show in my universe, then your world will probably cease to exist long before 2 months from now. Oops, forget what I just said."   
  
  
  
  
  
---------- HI, MY NAME IS ----------   
  
  
  
"Two months what? What's gonna happen in two months?" Buffy questioned in alert.   
  
"Noth...nothing." Intimidated, I stuttered on an answer I hoped vague enough. "I don't know. Joss keeps things really secret these days."   
  
"But why two months? You must know SOMETHING." Ignoring my reluctance to elaborate on my statement, the slayer pressed on.   
  
"Well, there are the spoilers, and the fact that a season always ends in the end of May. It's common sense."   
  
"So in two months this battle will be over?" Anya suggested optimistically. "And we're gonna win coz we're the main characters right?"   
  
"I don't know." I said. Well, now THAT was a big lie. All of us who read spoilers knew that some really bad things are going to happen on the show, and the show's going for good this time after the finale. But guess I can't tell them that. "Even if I do, I can't tell. You know there's the timeline contamination thing. Like Back To The Future, or more like the Temporal Directive."   
  
"To hell with it." Buffy growled, looking as if she was going to explode.   
  
"Ooo... Captain Janeway!" Andrew muttered as he drew a reference out of his sci-fi repertoire.   
  
"Look." The slayer continued. "We have a huge battle coming up here, and you better tell us what you know." I shuddered and retreated a few steps back.   
  
"Don't be so tough on the girl, Buffy." Spike said in my defense. "Just let it go." I signaled a silent thank you to the vampire in response to his rescue.   
  
"Let..." Buffy halted and let out a sigh. "Fine. Let's change the subject then. We'll talk about you. We now know you're from another universe. What else can you tell us? About you, I mean."   
  
"Well, I can start with Hi, I'm Zena." I said with a wave to the crowd, just like the way Buffy introduced herself to Willow back in season one. "I'm from Canada. I'm a miserable university student who has absolutely no life and no money. I have a fixation on watching Smallville, Gilmore Girls, and BtVS, that's you guys by the way, on TV. Okay that doesn't sound right, and I'm hungry." Then I pointed to a plate by the stove. "Is it okay if I have some of that?" But after taking a better look at what was in it, I hesitated and asked, "that IS food right?"   
  
"yeah, funnel cake. I made them." Andrew replied proudly. "You know, these people here have no gratitude at all to the fact that I bake for them. I mean, I have had lots of practice since I got my ass kicked by funnel cake a couple of weeks back, but they don't care. They still think I'm trying to poison them, even after I told them last time was an accident." He complained in a whisper while passing me a serving of his 'masterpiece'.   
  
Okay, I thought to myself, that was probably my concussion not Andrew talking. There was no mentioning of the word 'poison'. It was all in my head. This 'cake' is edible. But when I caught the box of Cheerios Rona shoved into my chest, I changed my mind, abandoned the plate of 'funnel cake' and went for the safer choice.   
  
As I cheerfully munched on my Cheerios, Vi wondered out loud curiously. "So what's an alternate universe? Does it have anything to do with the hellmouth?"   
  
"Dunno about the hellmouth part, but an alternate universe is something like a parallel dimension where the same people exist but play different roles. Like in my world, you are all characters on the show called Buffy the Vampire Slayer played by actors who look exactly like you. I would give you some examples, but Spike pretty much gave out all the best ones."   
  
"So you know all of us?"   
  
"Most of you. There're some potentials I don't think their names ever came up." I began by pointing at Buffy, then moved my finger to another, and another. "Buffy, Giles, Spike. Xander, Anya, and Dawn." Then I went on to name the potentials, "Kennedy, Rona, Vi, Molly, Amanda." I paused and looked around. "For the ones who're here, that's all I know." Then I added, "I also know who Angel and Drusilla are. Oz, Riley, Tara, Faith, and Willow. Oh and Wesley and Cordy. The good old times. And Snyder! He was funny! And I just ran out of fingers."   
  
The girls chuckled at my comment. Then a thought struck me. "Speaking of Willow, is she still in LA?"   
  
"Wow, you know THAT too?" Kennedy asked. "Then you should know what she's doing all the way over there?" That must be a question everyone wanted an answer for, because all the eyes were now locked on me.   
  
"Well, yeah. But I think it'd be better if she tells you herself. You know, first person, third person." I pointed at the imaginary Willow then myself as I explained. "Plus I'm a terrible story teller."   
  
"And you know that because..."   
  
"Because I'm an engineer! Everyone knows that engineers can't write. Plus I know I wirte bad poetry. I'd say along the line of 'from twixt it's wee beak'. THAT was bloody awful." With that comment went another evil grin of mine to the blond vampire.   
  
"Were you born this big a pain in the ass?" Spike resented. The others looked completely confused. Of course, they didn't know about the poem.   
  
"What can I say, baby? I've always been bad." I gave him another evil grin.   
  
"Oh bugger!" Spike rolled his eyes in embarrassment, while Dawn and the potentials burst into giggles.   
  
At the same moment, a voice came from behind me. "Nei dei cho mud yeah? Nei gore bin gore lay ga? Hi my yau yau gwai?" (What are you doing? Who is this? Is it the flashcard monsters again?)   
  
"Hi Chao Ahn." I turned and greeted her.   
  
"Morning Chao Ahn. Would you like some milk and cereal for breakfast?" Giles kindly offered her a glass of milk, but all he got for reply was an irritated look on the oriental potential.   
  
"Nei yau sheung mou say ngo? Doh wah ng yum duck ngau nai. Ngo wui ng shu folk!" (Are you really trying to kill me? I told you I'm lactose intolerant. I'll get sick!)   
  
Giles let out a sigh as he translated her words, "She said it's still too early for food."   
  
"Oh mercy, Giles!" Now it was me who rolled my eyes. "Stop offering her any more dairy product. She's lactose intolerant, for Christ's sake!" I paused for a second and then add, "and those flash cards? You're terrible Giles! Funny, but terrible!"   
  
"You speak Chinese?" Giles' eyes flashed as a thread of fresh hope sparked.   
  
"Two dialects." I thought for a while then I continued. "Hey, what about this? You guys let me stay here for a while and I'll be your translator." I threw a glance at Giles and added, "I really can't stand Giles slaughtering the Chinese language anymore. You know she thinks you're trying to murder her with milk right?" Everybody, even the tensed Buffy and the cool Spike, burst into laughter while Giles blushed in embarrassment.   
  
However, Buffy still wasn't entirely convinced. So I quickly extended my offer. "Plus I might be able to help with Xander's repair work and Dawn's research. Oh, and I'm an okay cook too!" I tossed a look at the plate of 'funnel cake' to remind them of their REAL situation.   
  
Eyes sparkled in the mention of food and finally Buffy surrendered, "Alright, you can stay with us until Willow comes back. Then we'll decide whether or not we have to send you back."   
  
"I think I can settle for that." I smiled at my triumph, thinking, I have three weeks before Willow comes back with Faith. that's plenty of time to think up a plan.   
  
"Does she really think that I was trying to kill her? With milk? Oh heavens." I wish you could've seen it, the expression on Giles' face was just priceless!   
  
  
  
  
  
*End Note 1 - Ok, This story is getting really stupid...I'm definitely hating myself now. Ok I'll get into the moping and sulking process...*   
  
*End Note 2 - It's true when I say I can't stand Giles slaughtering the Chinese language. I laughed so hard when watching the ep. But the funnier thing is, Chao Ahn slaughtered even more Chinese than Giles did, for her accent is as fake as James' British accent! The sad part is, James' accent actually sounds British, while Chao Ahn's sounds like she's choking! God plz save me!* 


End file.
